I’ve been mulling the idea for months now about starting a blog. I don’t imagine I have anything particularly insightful or original to say, but I have yet to find a blog about mixed marriages (Catholic + nonCatholic.) So, at the very least, I’ve convinced myself that this is a niche that needs filling.
A little background: I’m a cradle Catholic, happily newly married. It still feels new anyhow, but it also has that depth of knowing eternity (in a good way.) Happily my wilderness exited at the start of our wedding journey, it was however replaced with our wilderness; or, our time of coming together. In many ways we have everything in common, same plans for the future, ideas about raising children, hopes and goals for personal growth. I’m hearing some Bette Midler in my head “From a distance, we all look the same.” From far away it looks that way; if A = B, and B = C, than A = C or something. From up close, the differences are far less subtle. Wonderfully, in every way my husband compliments me and encourages me to grow.
This is an area of constant need and friction in the human experience; striving to find areas of common ground to relate to others in order to move forward. Perhaps it comes from our instincts as pack animals needing to survive together? A deeper need for communion based on our relation to our Creator? From a negative perspective this can manifest itself in an attempt to conform others to our desire. From a positive perspective this can be a study of conforming ourselves to the needs of other. (Is this what Pope Francis meant when he talked about proselytizing vs evangelizing?) As we learn to relate in our relationships we open ourselves up for learning how to love on a different level, understanding that our benefit together supersedes that of our personal benefit. A long time at this work reveals the greater mystery that the personal benefit is actually greater when the relationship is placed at the forefront. But learning to submit oneself to the needs of another is a lifelong work in learning how to love from the inside out.
This is not the kind of work that is easy for an impatient person, especially one who loves to talk. I think my motto of the day, often attributed to St Francis of Assisi: “Preach the Gospel at all times, when necessary use words.”